Shirt #1: Can you guarantee fridge space?
When I’m invited to a social gathering, it’s natural that I will have questions for the host. What sort of attire is appropriate? Could I arrive early to help set up? And, oh yeah: even though the host didn’t ask for them and probably doesn’t want them, I’ll be bringing a platter of deviled eggs. So can my host guarantee fridge space? Seriously, CAN SHE?! Also I intend to eat all the deviled eggs myself.
Shirt #2: Pull up a mouth. This buffet is unstoppable
For some men, life’s biggest thrill is a visit to an establishment where barely clad women remove what few scraps of clothing they are wearing, and then grind their most intimate parts in strange fellows’ faces (or parts beyond). For others, it’s a great seat at a Pacers game. Our kind of man only gets REALLY excited about a trip to a well-stocked all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet — and when he shows up, the kitchen had better get ALL the bacon out of the walk-in fridge.
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